why can't we just be happy? i try SO HARD for you and every time you shoot it down. i understand that you're in pain and unhealthy but YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING about it and that doesn't just hurt you. honestly you're just being selfish because SO MANY people care about you and you care about them too but by not taking care of yourself you're not taking into consideration the people who love and care about you. i don't CARE if you don't believe it because even if they were to be lying you would only be benefited. SERIOUSLY. and i can't say anything to you because you're fragile and delicate and emotional. i want to be honest with you but it will not help you to get better. it will kill you and that makes me a bad person, makes me hurt. i don't know how to tell you to get help because honestly you won't, no matter what i say. WHAT MORE CAN I DO? it's bad enough that you're always gone, but it's worse that you're not happy when you're here. why can't we just be happy together? i really do love you, and i want this to work. for as long as possible, maybe even forever. but it's breaking me. you're breaking me. 


"i am not yours, not lost in you, although i long to be; lost as a candle lit at noon, lost as a snowflake in the sea. you love me, i find you still a spirit, beautiful and bright. yet i am i, who long to be lost as a light in light. i am lost as a candle lit at noon, lost as a snowflake in the sea. oh plunge me deep in love, put out my senses. leave me deaf and leave my blind, i am, but i. oh plunge me deep in love. put out my senses. swept by the tempest, by the tempest of your love: a taper, a taper in the rushing wind. i am not yours. i am not yours. i am not yours, not lost in you, although i long to be lost as a candle lit at noon, lost as a snowflake in the sea.

lost as a candle, lost as a light, but not lost in you."


i love you.